Feeling rather emotional. Just view Jo's blog, can sense the happiness that she is experiencing. Wonder will i ever get to experience same kind of happiness and love again.
This relationship with Mark has taught me alot of things, both good and bad. He taught me not to trust a person too much, coz when u have too much hope and trust in a person, u are bound to hurt urself very deeply when he disappoints you, even if its over a small matter. He taught me that love is never always a bed of roses and love doesnt mean being the one and only person in that person's life.
That is his perception of love. Not mine. But i am tryin to adapt, i hope.
He's coming back in another month time, most people comment would be 'thats good, things will be better when he is back'. Really? How do they know? What do they know? They dunno what i've been thru, they dunno the things that he did, the heartaches that i went thru, the tears that i have cried. They know nothing but i know they are trying to make me feel better, else wat else can they say? I know for myself how i was treated when he came back for his holidays last year. Looking back at what happened then, i get totally confused abt what exactly am i waiting for?
Sometimes i wonder how long more can i hang on? I'm dejected and depressed, my idealism has left me. Love? What is it all about?