22nd June. Mark's birthday, and i got a surprise gift! He has been lying to me for the past 3 months or longer? So he has been chattin online in IRC just like before, his excuse, IRC was his life for past 6 yrs, too used to it? Agnes used to be his life for his past 3 yrs? So? Whats so upsetting bout chatting on IRC? Its no big deal really, it only becomes a big deal when MARK was the one who specifically said he would stay clear off it, for my sake? BULLSHIT i must say. Apparently his suck cock buddies and online flirting are too important for him to lose, his life for de past 6 yrs. Blaming me for not trustin him enough thats why he had to go to such extend to hide it from me? Well, yupz its always my fault, always.
But i chose to stay eventually, god knows why? Maybe i just love to be tortured, maybe sub-conciously my views abt love is suffer under de hands of my lover. How am i goin to trust him ever? To him everything is a small issue, this is a small issue. His parents trust him. DUH~! He doesnt seem to realise that he is their only bloody son.
Gosh! I threw away a wonderful boyfriend and swap it for someone like this? My mum told me its my choice, she wun wanna get involve. Who else can i go to? So how should i move on?
Special thanks to his online buddies as well. They did a good job hiding and covering up for his ass. Ban me from irc to prevent me from lookin at the conversation they had. So drama!
Morning msg from MARKER> I'm sorry prissy, Don't give up on us.
Yup? I'm trying hard to believe. To think after all these have happened last, he still manage to cough out words like "i promise i won't chat in IRC again"??!!! Wahaha.. really "...??". He told me he's saving up for tickets for me to go over? Yup? He used to say that too, whenever we had quarrels in the past "I will get a ticket and fly back tomolo if u dun talk to me". Same thing, same empty promises, what else is new?