Perhaps i haven't

Its new. It hurts. It will be gone soon.
New phase. New chapter. New me will be soon.
I will be strong.

Wilson Philips sings:

I know there's pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind?

I have found PEACE

I feel better, after two days of fluctuating moodswings.
I consoled myself as much as i could and realise, the situation is not really that bad? I can take it afterall. I am happier.
Thank god it only took me two days. Thank you too to my precious babes that spent time with me to make me have a clearer view of the whole issue.

I emailed alot today, long lengthy mails that i never thought i could write. I'm surprise i still have words left to blog. I probably used up every single verb and vocab i've ever known in my entire life, to draft those emails so filled with angst, frustations and unhappiness.

All is fine now, i have decided to brood over it no more and move on.

Work today was same as always - mundane.
So i ended up having loads of time to draft a two and a half page email, while at the same time reading an ebook entitled "Dairy of He".

This link was sent to me by Ching few months back and apparently, it was so interesting that Ber got addicted to it as well. SO out of boredom and with thousands of thoughts running thru my mind, i decided to read it, to rest my mind a bit.
I'm lazy to give a review about it but i must say its something that's definitely worth reading even if you dun really have time to read. I got Lily addicted to it too, she was SO ADDICTED that she refuse to work till she completes all the episodes - thinking that there are only 20 episodes to read.

Sorry babe, there are 260++ episodes at the moment, that means you have a long way more to go!! Jia you wor. Let me know when you have made it that far. :p

;(

The tears have dried. But the pain still lingers.
Tomorrow still goes on.
Trust will have to learnt from scratch - all over again.
Foolishness never leaves the fool.
I am that Fool.

So very sick

I've been sick! Since Sat till now.

Already had 3 days of leave. And still sick..

For the ladies in my life

When Wendy mention on her blog that Rek left a message for everyone of us.
I hurriedly went to my email to check for mine. I couldn't find any and was honestly a tad upset that i could have been left out(we weren't close frens back in sec sch days) and kinda worried that i might have accidentally deleted her mail away.

Today while reading around, i found out i got a short and sweet message on Rek's blog for me, I wasn't missed out! *Grinz*

Here it is:
"Priscilla--We never had the opportunity to be good friends from before, but that is slowly changing. I admit I never bothered to like you or be your friend because I thought you were arrogant. But I am glad that we hang out now, because I now know for a fact that you are not what I thought you were. You are sweet and intelligent, Prissy..and I am still looking forward to knowing you and understanding you better. "

Dearest Rek,
Perhaps you felt i was arrogant coz i talk too little and talk to people selectively? I wanna say, i'm not arrogant, never was and never will be, especially not to you! Looking back, i was a painfully shy and low-esteemed girl during our sec school days, i never really spoke out loud or talked more than necessary and perhaps that could be why you thought i was proud? Anyway it really does not matter anymore what matters is that you no longer think of me this way.

I'm just thankful now, to fate for bringing us together in this short life-time of ours, for me to know more about you. I thought you were really fierce back in CCSS days but as we start meetin up once in a while, when we were already in tertiary ed, i constantly find my opinion of you changing, for the better.
You are funny and sOoo extremely sweet, something you did a few weeks ago is still deeply etched in me. This is briefly how it went:

Rek: Hi Pris, can i ask you a quest?
Pris: yup, shoot?
Rek: How are you?

Though it was just a normal message, the feeling at that moment was one that just fills my heart with so much warmth, i wanted so much to hug you then. keke.
Thanks Rek, that message really really made my day, so much.

A message to all my dearest girl pals:
Amber, Ching, Denyse, Irene, Jo ann, Lily, Mich, Peijia, Rekha, Wendy, Zizi
I'm ever so grateful to the great spirit above for bringin you babes into my life and mine into yours.
I'm optimistically looking forward to having many more years of fun times with you all, learning more about your likes, dislikes, appreciating you all for who you are and growing wise with each other.

I'm eagerly anticipating the future when you girls will start:
- gettin married and i can all be part of ur sister gang and tekan ur husband
- little families of your own and i will get to see how you look when you are pregnant, see how your baby looks like, who does the baby resembles and maybe even be godma to your kids?
- growing old and i can accompany you all to play mahjong or go on cruises or just relax around at each others place, simply chatting and gossiping till our time in this world is over?(not really eager on the growing old part but it will happen eventually)

haha.. so surreal and so nice. :)
this is an ideal life story of mine.
and i sincerely hope all of you will appear in every chapters of my life till i aged and till my time is up.

Take care babes, I love you all!