After 2.5 months of break, I'm finally back, sitting on my same old table in my office. Nothing changed, just probably more construction sites appearing everywhere around Tanjong Pagar area.
Since morning, i have done absolutely nothing except surfing net, chatting, reading online papers, forums and blogging. Perhaps i should just leave early, since I'm basically - rotting, but then if i were to go off and end up shopping and spending again, then it seems perhaps i am better off sitting in front of this computer.
I was very unwilling to come to work this morning, but still i dragged myself here coz i needed $$$ to top up my depleting bank account. I even teared a little last night while transferring my stuff from my weekend bag to my work bag, it felt like i was being kicked out of my wonderland and back into the REAL WORLD. that feeling sucked.
Weeks ago, during the competition, i doubted & questioned myself many times, can i do it, do i love it, will i be able to deliver, can i handle the pressure bla bla bla. Even till the very last week prior to the competition, i still had those thoughts floating around my brain. I guess perhaps it was these uncertainties that brought about my elimination? or maybe not?
During my 2 weeks break, after watching more of us being eliminated and chatting with the people who made it into the semi's, i started feeling the loss and pain of being eliminated. I am darn envious.
I woke up one morning and realize how much i yearn to have a script to memorize and a character to play. The saying "you never know how much it means, till you lose it" never felt more apt.
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