Thursday, May 07, 2009

on love...responsibilites

This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love
Author: Anonymous


I woke up to heavy news this morning. A close friend, seven months pregnant, found out that her hubby found another someone during this period where she's tediously carrying with her everywhere, their labor of love.

I am truly outraged by this news. What ever happen to responsibilities! What ever happen to that darn marriage vow he made in front of every one vowing to take care of his wife in sickness & health, the vow to be the faithful partner, the vow to love and cherish her till the day he shall live.
Are these words so commercialized & overused till no one ever sits down to understand its meaning anymore?
And off all times, he chose to do it at a time when she is most vulnerable. @#$!%$@#$

That was anger directed at the unfaithful husband of my friend. But to be fair, i know guys aren't the only ones out there taking on more pies than they can handle. I've heard many stories of my own kind, doing such things too.

I have my ideals about how my relationship should be and how relationships everywhere should generally be like. But at a-quarter-of-a-century-year-old, you soon realize, these ideals are just ideals.

At this age of my life, I've been through heart-wrenching situations where I've seen my closest and strongest friends crying their hearts out because of failed relationships, infidelity, fights etc etc. Some moved on to someone better, some eventually went back to those that hurt them.
For those that left the bad apple and found someone better, I am happy as a bunny!(?) that things turned out well for them, for friends that went back, I am worried, but I know better when it comes to forcing my opinion on someone blinded by love. And of course there are also situations which requires drastic solutions to the undeserving.

I've also heard of stories where really capable ladies, takes up the role of the third party - knowingly. It baffles me why. Hearing stories of them self validate, admitting they know that what they do is morally unacceptable in our society but yet continuing to do so because they claim they 'LOVE' the guy who just so happen to be married with a few kids and has a loving wife at home.
I try my best not to judge, but still I am truly baffled - there are still many other single guys out there, why even indulge that guy by letting him have more than one?! Why make another fellow female suffer the aches that we all loathe.

So what exactly is love? Is it possible for you to love two person at the same time? Is it so important that you can & should throw all responsibilities aside? What can you love about a guy who throws his responsibility aside for the ideals of love? What makes you so sure he won't throw you away after he is done with 'loving' you.


*this post ended with a deep long sigh. I used to think marriage should be for life. I still think the same and i don't see why that should change.*